It began April 26 when I expressed concern with my doctor about “something going on in my back.” Four MRIs, three CT scans, one bone scan, and four doctor visits later, I’m still in Limbo Land.
What is going on in my body?
Something. We still don’t know, but we’re testing and deciding who to see, what to test, where to go next. Is it cancer? If not, what then. There’s lots of growing things that don’t belong in my body. I’m in Limbo Land, and I’m not one of those naturally flexible people who can bend deeply and gracefully as they make their way under the bar.
But God has been preparing me for this storm with sermon series on true contentment no matter what the circumstances and His provision of the strength you need. He brought about a speaking engagement that led me to dig back into the subject of renewing our minds and choosing our attitudes. The Holy Spirit has been giving me gentle and not-so-gentle nudges for years to dig deeper into His words, to listen for His prompting, and to step out in faith when I may not have the courage or faith to do so.
Last Thursday I saw the bone scan light up—not what I wanted to see—and this afternoon I will hear the doctor’s report on this latest test. I already have made an appointment with an oncologist after a trip to Glacier National Park with my husband. Will we need or want to change our vacation plans?
With the exception of Thursday night’s tantrum—think three-year-old in your face whining and defiance pushing Him away while making sure He heard me—I have felt God’s presence with me in this, and He brings me peace.
Three things I am thankful for in Limbo Land:
- That I have the foundation of faith and relationship with God.
- My husband, a great show-er of love, encouragement, and support.
- My adult children and grandkids, and the love they share in so many ways.