Is there anyone who doesn’t like to be affirmed about who they are or what they have accomplished? Honest expressions of affirmation feed us.

We affirm babies without even thinking about it. Even when they don’t yet understand our words, our tone and mannerisms come through when we say things like “What a beautiful smile you have!” or “Your curls are just like your mama’s.” And we celebrate everything they learn to do. “Can you wave bye-bye?” Roll over, crawl, walk—all get cheers and applause. We don’t say: “Quit your crying and get with the program” or “You wimp. Roll over!”

When they get a little older, condemnation takes its place in our conversations. A distractible seven-year-old hears, “What did I tell you to do? You’d better finish cleaning up right now, or else.” If affirmation is used, he might instead hear, “You put seven cars in the box, good. Now how about putting away all of the blocks?”

We automatically extend grace to babies, but older children and adults need less encouragement as their self-esteem takes over. But there are plenty of us who still hear words from 15–20 years ago ringing in our ears: “I can’t believe you are that dumb.” “How much do you weigh? You’ll never get a date if you don’t go on a diet.”

People need affirmation. Not effusive empty praise, but an honest acknowledgement of who they are and that they are valued. For some, it is how they know they are loved.

Proverbs 12:25 says, Worry weighs a person down; an encouraging word cheers a person up. (NLT)

May my kind words scatter flower petals of God’s love on those around me. May their beauty and fragrance delight the eye and fill the air, changing the atmosphere.