In honor of my husband’s retirement at the end of this school year, I am sticking with the pun theme today, but in a specialized way. For the last thirty years, John has given this “test” to his chemistry classes on a day when they all need a change of pace. Some kids love it and groan loudly every time they figure one out. Others, of course, declare it to be stupid. I’m sure you know which group I would be in.

John believes that students need to learn how to think deeply and be able to figure things out, both in the class room and in the lab–that’s how he teaches. He also understands that everyone comes at things from different angles, so he works to give every kind of mind a chance to find success. He has been loved and respected by his students, and I am very proud of him.

Back to the punitentiary … John doesn’t remember where he got this test many years ago, so I can’t credit the source. I invite you to study the Periodic Table and see if you can figure out the elements that match up with the descriptions. If you get stuck, say the element names out loud.

 

Use the names of elements as synonyms or substitute for some phrases. So cesium your pen and fill in the blanks.

1. What doctors are for  __________
2. Policeman __________________
3. Have went (very poor grammar) ___________________
4. Indian funeral chant  ____________________________
5. A motto for a well-digging company _________________
6. Get him ____________________
7. Holmium X 0.5 =  ____________
8. Chemical Apache ____________
9. To press a shirt ______________
10. Directed (past tense) __________
11. A kitchen work area with a drain ___________________
12. A ship’s kitchen ______________
13. The leg joint above the calf _______________________
14. What police do to a bookie joint ___________________
15. A cowboy’s cry after successfully riding a bronco: “I ___________________.”
16. An amusing prisoner __________
17. Ruler of Davy Jones’ locker _______________________
18. A large building used to store automobiles ___________
19. The last words of a dying man _____________________
20. The Lone Ranger’s horse ________
21. A tomb _____________________
22. What is often done to stores during a riot ____________
23. The name applied to a blond person from Sweden, Norway, or Finland ________________
24. What do you do before you brand a steer? ___________
25. The name of a red flower ________
26. An officer in the army __________ (second time for this element)
27. Someone who gives to charity ____________________ (Biblical: one who stops to help a fellow traveler)
28. Mickey Mouse’s dog ___________
29. A 2000-pound casket __________ (second time for this element)
30. “___________________________ anything, but give them Arpege.”
31. The United States  _____________
32. View by a boy whose name is Cal. __________________ (monstrous pun)
33. What you do to steak when you barbecue it __________
34. Cow hide used as a carpet _____________________ion
35. Funds from mother’s sister ____________________
36. Opposite of hot _____________________________

 

 

 

Answers:

1. Curium CM or Helium He
2. Copper Cu
3. Argon Ar
4. Barium Ba
5. Boron B
6. Cesium Ce
7. Hafnium Hf
8. Indium In
9. Iron Fe
10. Lead Pb
11. Zinc Zn
12. Gallium Ga
13. Neon Ne
14. Radium Ra
15. Rhodium Rh
16. Silicon Ai
17. Neptunium Np
18. Carbon X
19. Iodine I
20. Silver Ag
21. Krypton Kr
22. Lutetium Lu
23. Scandium Sc
24. Europium Eu
25. Germanium Ge
26. Lutetium Lu
27. Samarium Sm
28. Plutonium Pu
29. Krypton Kr
30. Promethium Pm
31. Americum Am
32. Calcium Ca
33. Cerium Ce
34. Flourine F
35. Antimony Sb
36. Gold Au