Q: What’s the difference between a poorly dressed man on a unicycle and a well-dressed man on a bicycle? A: Attire. There’s a guy in town who walks around talking to himself using only figurative language. We call him the Village Idiom.~ Albert Sloan I can give you the cause of anaphylactic shock in a nutshell. ~ Gary… Read More
I have a few jokes about unemployed people, but none of them work “I have a split personality,” said Tom, being frank. I Renamed my iPod The Titanic, so when I plug it in, it says “The Titanic is syncing.” “A synonym is a word you use when you can’t spell the other one.”~ Baltasar… Read More
A pessimist’s blood type is always b-negative. ~ A man’s home is his castle, in a manor of speaking. I fired my masseuse today. She just rubbed me the wrong way.
A good pun is its own reword. Dijon vu: The same mustard as before. Shotgun wedding: A case of wife or death.
Q: What do you call a 3.14 meter long snake?A: A π-thon Q: What do you call it when you parry a sword stroke from a semi-aquatic mammal?A: Parry the platypus Q: What did the cell say to his sister cell when she stepped on his toe?A: mitosis
Q: Why did the crab never share?A: Because he’s shellfish Q. Where do shellfish go to borrow money?A. The prawn broker. Q. What does a dolphin say when he’s confused?A. Can you please be more Pacific?
Q: Are balloon animals smart? A: No, they’re airheads. Q: What do you call a herd of young sheep tumbling down a hill? A: A lambslide. Q: Who tells the best chicken jokes? A: Comedi-hens. Life Quotes Just because things hadn’t gone the way I had planned didn’t necessarily mean they had gone wrong. ~Ann… Read More