You may have to say this one out loud:I made some gumbo with only okra and sausage.It wasn’t bad, and it wasn’t good either.It was just meaty okra. Eyedrops are, technically, blinker fluid. Chickens have stopped crossing the road.They just call an ewe-ber. photos by pixabay

My friend said, “I don’t understand cloning.”I replied, “That makes two of us.” Headline:Man Invents Ground-breaking Tool Photo by Antony Trivet: https://www.pexels.com/photo/a-man-in-a-yellow-vest-digging-on-dirt-ground-12919408/ Headline:Invention of Broom Sweeps the Nation Photo by Fabio Gasperoni: https://www.pexels.com/photo/two-brooms-near-fence-and-wall-2007257/ You will bloom in season.

To all my northern friends, Your weather is in my yard. I’m going to need you to come get it, please. Eyelashes are supposed to prevent things from getting into your eyes, but when I do have something in my eye, it’s always an eyelash.Eyronic. I asked my friend to spell wonton backwards.He said, “Not… Read More

Good idea for you pesterers: When a someone asks you, “Could you be more annoying?” Just smile, and wear tap shoes tomorrow. If James Bond is the most famous spy in the world, doesn’t that make him the worst spy? If you get lost in the woods, find a possum and follow it. You’ll be… Read More

All my passwords are protected by amnesia. What do you call a woman standing in the middle of tennis court?Annette. Me: “It doesn’t have a tail so I’m pretty sure it’s a hamster.Tech Support: “Okay fine. Right-click the hamster.

It’s true. I have a memory like an Etch-A-Sketch.I shake my head and forget everything. If really beautiful people are called “eye candy,”I would guess I am somewhere in the “eye broccoli” category. I was sitting drinking coffee in my slipper this morning, when it dawned on me…I really need to wash some cups. I… Read More