If I live until I am 100 years old, I am going to make up a reason why I live so long, just to mess with people:
For the last 50 years, I fried up a pine cone and ate it with syrup every morning.

What do sea monster eat?
Fish and Ships.

A warning just for you online buyers:
When you buy a watch and the description says you can swim with it,
it only works if you can already swim without it.

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