Did you hear about the ice cream truck that crashed?The driver said it wasn’t his fault. He blamed it on the Rocky Road. A truck loaded with Vick’s Vapor Rub turned over on a busy highway near Chicago.Amazingly, there was no congestion for the next 8 hours. A few of my grandkids declare this is… Read More
A chicken crossed the ocean and met a British spy. “What’s your name?” he asked the man.“Bond. James Bond,” the spy said. “What’s yours?”“Ken. Chick Ken,” the bird cackled. What do you call an underwater spy?Pond. James Pond. I just bought a new blindfold. I can’t see myself wearing it. Another joke from Laurel: What… Read More
Q: What do dogs and cell phones have in common? A: They both have collar ID. What is a tornado’s favorite game to play?Twister Elevator music bothers me at many different levels. Laurel said to add this to the “Granny jokes.” What do you call a taco that does exercise?A walking taco.
A pun has not really matured until it is full groan. I’ll stop at nothing to avoid using negative numbers. The about the word “queue” for a moment. It’s just a Q with a bunch of silent letter waiting in a line. It bothers me that 2021 is pronounced “2020 won.”
I cut myself, so I called the doctor and asked if I could put in my own stitches.She said, “Suture self.” My grandkids are visiting. I just asked them, “Did you know that you have the right to remain silent even when you are not being arrested?” If I had a nickel for every pun… Read More
I just saw some red-breasted birds sitting in the sun, and they were selling ice cream. I think they were Baskin Robins. That awkward moment when you’re wearing Nikes, and you can’t do it. I think it’s wrong that only one company makes the game Monopoly. Q: Why are hairdressers never late for work?A: Because… Read More
Q: What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet?A: Supplies! I have a friend who took a selfie in the shower, but the image was blurry.He has selfie steam issues. All I’m saying is: “At any point during that ride through the desert, he could have at least given the horse… Read More