“Doctor, Doctor!  I feel like a pair of curtains!”
“Well, pull yourself together.”

“Doctor, Doctor!  My little boy has just swallowed a roll of film!”
“Hmmmm… Let’s hope nothing develops.”

“Doctor, Doctor!  I feel like a deck of cards!”
“I’ll deal with you in a minute.”

“Doctor, Doctor!  My son has swallowed my pen, what should I do?”
“Use a pencil ’till I get there.”