“Hi, how are you?”
“I’m just fine, thank you.”
“Don’t put on that act for me. How do you really feel?”
Sometimes it helps to ACT out the attitude that you want–or need–to make it real, to make it a FACT.
Are you dreading your most un-favorite cleaning chore?
Look in the mirror that is covered with smudges and splashes of tooth paste. Put on your rubber gloves, choose your favorite personality, and watch yourself in the mirror as you impersonate them, saying: “You want me to clean the bathroom for you? Well, of course, I’d love to. I’ve always dreamed of cleaning your bathroom, hasn’t everyone?”
Or put on the Happy Working Song and pretend all kinds of helpers flock to help you. Sing along, LOUDLY.
Do you want to show your child that he is important to you?
“Mom, MOM, MOM!” Hold up a finger to indicate you’ll be right with them, and put on your game face. Deep breath, smile, make eye contact, and say, “Thanks for waiting. I wanted to be able to give you my full attention. What is it?”
And when you’re overwhelmed–which you will–set a timer and a number of times you can be interrupted before it rings. Once he’s reached the limit and yells, “MOM!” you can just hold up the number of fingers that represents the number of times you’ve already responded. Reset the timer and start over. It will ring, and he will interrupt you. Its a continuum.
Do you have a vague memory of loving you spouse–that’s why you married her–but you can’t remember why?
Act like you do. Ask yourself, “If I really loved him, what would I do when he walked in the door at the end of the workday?” “If I really loved her, what little thing could I do for her that would just make her day?”
Okay, this one takes some real work, but start small. One little act a day until you have that one down, then add another bit of love (even if you still don’t feel it). You will be surprised at how both of your attitudes start to change. Sometimes it takes work, and an ACT or two to make it a FACT.
You don’t have to mean it for real–you just have to pretend like you do, and as you ACT, with a smile and a loving touch, you start to mean it, in FACT.