I accidentally rubbed ketchup into my eyes.
Now I have Heinz sight.
Q: What do you call a retired miner?
A: Doug
If you are being chased by a pack of taxidermists, do not play dead.
I’m so mad. I went to a general store, and they wouldn’t let me buy anything specific.
Why did the chicken join a band?
Because she already had drumsticks.
Kathleen S Evenhouse 