Live Life Laughing

I accidentally rubbed ketchup into my eyes.
Now I have Heinz sight.

Q: What do you call a retired miner?
A: Doug

If you are being chased by a pack of taxidermists, do not play dead.

I’m so mad. I went to a general store, and they wouldn’t let me buy anything specific.

Why did the chicken join a band?
Because she already had drumsticks.

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