This poem has been a long-time coming. The beach episode happened on a Florida extended-family summer vacation three years ago. The church service was a few months later. That night the Holy Spirit woke me up, and I wrote down the truths I mention in the poem. The next morning I added a few more questions and thoughts to the Notes on my phone. I rediscovered the idea years later and decided to write it more fully.
BTW. I haven’t ventured any further than knee-deep into the ocean since then. I’m old and no longer feel obliged to bow to peer pressure. I have, however, responded to the call to be a part of the world around me.

Swept Off My Feet

Water is not my friend, never has been
In spite of lessons and years of water play.
Shove the fear away, don’t let others see
Just how stressful a pool-full of friends can be.

But, today my people are standing waist deep in the ocean,
Jumping and laughing as the waves crash in.
Should I join them like I did a few days ago?
The ocean is wild from last night’s storm.
The undertow tugs at me, knee-deep and trembling.
I breathe in false courage
And beat back my water-fear to join the fun.

I never it saw it coming. The sneaky killer-wave rushed in
To knock me off my feet and tumble me over and over
Until I didn’t know which way was up.
I was head-under-water, captured in an undertow-and-wave spin.
“Help!”  my brain screamed, but they didn’t see me
As they shrieked and splashed in the wave that owned me.

My knee touched sand during one insane roll,
And I willed my whole body to sink, down and down,
Until I could crawl, but which way?
Against the current of the undertow
Whirling and pulling me out to the depths
And chaos of ocean waves that look so beautiful from the shore.
I crawl on sand and sharp shells until only my hand and feet are covered.
I choke, spit, gasp, and cough up salt and sand
until my son reaches me, helps me sit, and puts his arm around my shoulders.
“Never again,” I tell him. “I’ll stay safely on the beach.”

Months later, in the safe haven of a worship service,
Indoors, I sing along with a church full of believers:
“Come, Holy Spirit, rush in like a flood.”
“Sweep me away in never-ending waves.”
“If grace is an ocean, we’re all sinking.”
My heart yearns for God’s presence.
My soul rejoices as the flow of the Holy Spirit
Is felt in this space where two or three are gathered.
I sing, but the words poke at memory.
My mind and body panic.
I lose my balance and cling to a chair.
I am back in that out-of-my-control spin,
And I don’t even know which way is up.
Listen to the words that tell me that God’s love is in the hurricane winds,
Until His waves of mercy gather me, cradle me,
And remind me of my faith foundation.
I rejoin the song as I feel His presence inside and around me
And crawl on faith foundation into His arms.
He welcomes me into His Circle of Love.

That night, I hear the Holy Spirit’s voice as I sleep.
“Do you recognize the opposing waters:
the chaos-driven waves that challenge My life-giving river?”
I wake up and write down this truth.
God is my firm foundation.
When the stormy world-waves toss me to and fro
I turn my face to His foundation,
He strengthens me as I crawl,
And guides me into His arms.
I am not flotsam and jetsom,
Wreckage driven onto beaches of hopelessness and death.
I am His precious treasure;
He sees and rescues me.

My calling is not to stay safely on the beach,
For He has called me to actively immerse myself
In the wicked waves of this world’s tribulation.
God is my foundation.
The Holy Spirit is my guide.
I must tear down the retaining walls that I have built
To keep me high and dry on the beach.
God put me in this people-filled time and place;
He will not leave me to drown in my fearful weakness.
Instead, He wants me to trust Him,
To ride the waves of His love and mercy.
Only when I am in the water
Can I share God’s saving love
With other fearful, wave-tossed sinners like me.

So, waist-deep in this rough ocean,
I whole-heartedly sing:
Come, Holy Spirit, rush in like a flood.
Swept to and fro in Your never-ending waves of love,
Breathing deeply of Your grace.

by Kathleen Evenhouse, October 2, 2023
2 Samuel 22:5 and Ps 42:6-8