False shame (which focuses on “me” instead of moving me toward God) is called the master emotion, especially when other emotions are denied. It can bind to other emotions, masking them, and causing us to make hurtful inner vows or judgments. For example, sadness, hurt, or loneliness that we identified incorrectly as indications of weakness or as a defect can make us feel false shame about experiencing these emotions. False shame then binds on to the emotion, and, for self-protection, we can make an inner vow to never emote sadness, hurt, or loneliness again. . . .
Repressed emotions, often bound tightly to false shame, don’t stay buried. Have you ever tried to hold a beach ball under water? You can sit on it, hug it, stand on it, but it wants to pop out of the water. The minute you relax, lose your balance, or get distracted, here it comes. It streaks to the surface and pops out of the water with a splash. If there are others in the water with you, they get splashed or hit with the ball.
There is no such thing as unexpressed emotion. At some point the emotion will explode to the surface no matter how well you seem to be stuffing it down. . . . We develop masks to protect ourselves. Eventually we get sucked into the role we have been playing for so many years. Our real identity gets lost. Instead we don’t even know who we are or what we want. We’ve become what we perceived others expected us to be.
Lies become our truth, and we use these “truths” (which are actually lies) to evaluate our own worth. Believing lies can inadvertently create an alliance with the greatest deceiver of all and make us vulnerable to demons. And so false shame lives on. Shame-based people agree with the tormenting lies that are told about themselves, and this may lead to self rejection, self hatred, low self esteem, and chronic unhappiness deep inside.
False shame causes us to be self-focused, not God-focused.