Q: Why do Christmas trees never get presents?
A: Because they’re so knotty.

Christmas trees only use the past and future tense as they believe the present is beneath them.

It’s more blessed to give than to receive – especially kittens. ~Bill Cosby

Q: What’s the best Christmas present?
A: A broken drum, you just can’t beat it.

Q: How did Darth Vader know what Luke Skywalker was getting for Christmas?
A: He felt his presents.

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