Q: Why do Christmas trees never get presents?
A: Because they’re so knotty.
Christmas trees only use the past and future tense as they believe the present is beneath them.
It’s more blessed to give than to receive – especially kittens. ~Bill Cosby
Q: What’s the best Christmas present?
A: A broken drum, you just can’t beat it.
Q: How did Darth Vader know what Luke Skywalker was getting for Christmas?
A: He felt his presents.