Four men in hospital waiting room.
Nurse comes in and says to first guy, “Congratulations, you’re the father of twins.”
“That’s odd,” he said. “I work for the Minnesota Twins.”
She tells the second man, “”Congratulations, you’re the father of triplets.”
“That’s odd,” he said. “I work for 3M.”
Then she tells the third man, “”Congratulations, you’re the father of quadruplets.”
“That’s odd,” he said. “I work for Four Season hotels.”
The fourth man started groaning. “What’s up?” the others asked him.
With his head in his hands, he sobbed, “I work for 7UP.”

Dad, I promise you to one day give you grandchildren who annoy me as much as I annoy you.

Father: Why did you get such a low score in that exam?
Son: Absence!
Father: You were absent on the day of the exam?
Son: No but the boy who sits next to me was!

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“Some people don’t believe in heroes but they haven’t met my dad.”