I was looking for new shoes for walking. As I tried a pair on, I said to the assistant, “It’s too tight.”
“Try is with the tongue out,” she replied.
I said, “It’th nho ghood, it’th thtill thoo thight.”

The state of Texas issued a proclamation: Due to epic issues with obesity, it is now illegal to eat apple pie with ice cream.
Thousands of protesters took to the streets carrying signs and chanting, “Remember the A La Mode.”

Subdued.
A guy who works on one of those submarines.

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