Experiences play a leading role in our character development. Our growing up years set the stage for the rest of our lives. We can become type-cast, locked into a role that is not of our choosing, a role that responds to the experiences of our young lives.

An adult who suffered abuse as a child often doesn’t feel in control of his life. He can’t feel forgiven because the only control he has found is to take the blame. It is hard for him to distinguish when he is innocent in the first place, and he begins to feel that he is very bad indeed.

His life is built on a conglomeration of lies. Lies about:

• What is fair.
• Who he is.
• What he is and isn’t supposed to feel.

The good news is that we aren’t stuck in that role for the rest of our lives.

The Holy Spirit offers us a new script, and we have a lifetime to develop our God-intended role.

Naming the abuse, telling someone about it, is a good starting place. That is Ann Turner’s belief, as shown in this poem from her book Learning to Swim.

Listen.

Telling is what matters.

You have to catch

the words you’ve been hiding

inside or keeping in a dark

hurting ball in the middle

of your stomach that make you

sick

but pulling the words up

and out, spilling them

across the floor, the table,

dropping them into someone’s

surprised face that

is what matters

and after this time

and the next
one day

you will feel so

light and airy

your stomach will

uncoil

your face

unclench

and you will feel

like yourself

again.

Now I’ve let

that skunk dog in

that lurked on the porch

and it was just as bad

as I thought it

would be

but now it is time

to get rid of him

and go on

living and breathing . .