When I call a family meeting I turn off the house wifi and wait for them all to come running.

When I was a boy, I had a disease that required me to eat dirt three times a day in order to survive… It’s a good thing my older brother told me about it.

I told my niece that I saw a moose on the way to work this morning. She said, “How do you know he was on his way to work?”

Son: “Dad, can you tell me what a solar eclipse is?” Dad: “No sun.”

My nephew found a cassette tape in my house. It was like watching early man discovered fire.

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