Kathleen S Evenhouse
Writing With Vision
Q: Why does the Norway Navy have bar codes on the sides of their ships? A: So when they come back to port, they can Scandanavian. Q: Why can’t the T-Rex clap? A: Because he’s dead. Q: Want to know what makes you smile? A: Your face muscles. Winter Thoughts: Advice is like snow—the softer… Read More
If you’re ever attacked by a group of clowns, go for the juggler. Sometimes I tuck my knees into my chest and lean forward. That’s just how I roll. The word “phonetically” doesn’t even start with an “f.” It’s inconsistencies like this that make aliens fly right past our planet. Today’s Quote: “For God is… Read More
I have the heart of a lion and a lifetime ban from the San Diego Zoo. You heard the rumor going around about butter? Never mind. I shouldn’t spread it. Q: Why did Star Wars episodes 4, 5, and 6 come before episodes 1, 2 and 3? A: Because in charge of scheduling, Yoda was.… Read More
My wrinkles are all from laughter except for those between my eyebrows. They’re my “You’ve got to be kidding!” lines, and those things are deep. My brain says “crunches,” but my stomach auto-corrects to “cupcakes.” Cupcakes are muffins that believed in miracles. Today’s Quote: “I am leaving you with a gift—peace of mind and heart.… Read More
My hobbies include eating and complaining that I’m getting fat. I was driving with my dad the other day, and he asked me to get the map out of the glove box. Easy there, Indiana Jones, I’ll just Google it. Cupcakes are muffins that believe in miracles. ~Best Funny Quotes Ever from thefunnybeaver.com Today’s Saying: Don’t… Read More
Q: Guess who I saw today? A: Everyone I looked at. Q: Why did Mozart kill all his chickens? A: Because when he asked them who was their favorite composer, they all said, “Bach, Bach, Bach.” I finally figured out why no one finds my cheesy jokes and puns good. They’re laugh-tose intolerant. Quote about… Read More
Q: What kind of shoes do frogs wear? A: Open toad My wife asked me to pass her the lip balm. I gave her super glue by mistake. She’s still not talking to me. I dig. You dig. We dig. They dig. He dig. They dig… It’s not a beautiful poem, but it’s deep. A… Read More
Kathleen S Evenhouse 