Q: Why did Adele cross the road?
A: To sing, “Hello from the other side!”

A bank robber pulls out gun points it at the teller, and says, “Give me all the money or you’re geography!” The puzzled teller replies, “Did you mean to say ‘or you’re history?'” The robber says, “Don’t change the subject!”

If the right side of the brain controls the left side of the body, then lefties are the only ones in their right mind.

“Laughter gives us distance. It allows us to step back from an event, deal with it and then move on.” Bob Newhart