Q: Why don’t oysters give to charities?
A: Because they’re shellfish.
Q: Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?
A: It’s okay. He woke up.
Q: How do you when it’s been raining cats and dogs.
A: When you step in a poodle.
“Because the birdsong might be pretty,
But it’s not for you they sing,
And if you think my winter is too cold,
You don’t deserve my spring.”
― Erin Hanson