- I think something’s missing in my life. Like two or three million dollars.
- You know you’re a mom when you understand why mama bear’s porridge was cold.
- I once had a job in an orange juice factory but I got canned because I couldn’t concentrate.
- I never make the same mistake twice. I make it three or four times, you know, just to be sure!
- Don’t mess with me; I know Karate, Judo, Jujitsu, Kung Fu and 20 other dangerous words.
- I was going to take over the world today but I overslept. Postponed, again!
- That awkward moment you can’t understand what somebody is saying after they’ve repeated it about five times.
- I remember years ago when all I wanted to do is be older. I was wrong.
- During his summer recess, Santa has been viewing your Facebook posts. This year you’re getting a dictionary.
