I don’t rise and shine. I caffeinate and coordinate. This morning I woke up in a clown costume. I must have slept funny. Milk is the fastest liquid on earth. It’s pasteurize before you see it.
Live Life Laughing
Live Life Laughing
You never know what I have up my sleeve.Today, for instance, it was a dryer sheet The phrase, “don’t take this the wrong way” has a 1% success rate. The older I get, to more I understand why roosters just scream to start the day.
Live Life Laughing
A chicken crossed the road and met James Bond. “What’s your name,” the chicken asked.“Bond, James Bond,” he answered. “What’s yours?”“Ken, Chick Ken.” Judging by the look of my hair this morning, I may be a muppet. To me, essential oils are what drips out of tacos. If you don’t watch carefully, you might not… Read More
Live Life Laughing
etc. = end of thinking capacity What is the most terrifying word in nuclear physics?“Oops!” Roses are red,tacos are delicious.I use paper platesCause I hate doing dishes. I have been thinking about my mother-in-law all day. We love playing board games together, but cards were our favorite. Even though she usually beat me, I loved… Read More
Live Life Laughing
I asked my friend when her birthday was.She said, “March 1st.”So I high-stepped around the room and asked again. The surgeon had to amputate a man’s toe, so he replaced it with a breath mint.He calls it his “tic-tac toe.” Client: I’m having trouble with my computer.Tech Guru: Have you tried disabling cookies?Client: Once, I… Read More
Live Life Laughing
To be frank, I’d have to change my name. My friend told me I had to stop acting like a flamingo. So I had to put my foot down. I’ve invented a machine that measures the effectiveness of dad jokes.A sighs-mograph.
Live Life Laughing
I just learned Einstein was a real person. I always thought he was just a theoretical physicist. I had a dream last night I was a muffler…woke up exhausted. Did you hear about the guy who stole cheese? He was up to no Gouda.
Kathleen S Evenhouse 