There are two ways of arguing with a women.Neither one works. I wish there was a pill that would cure procrastination.I would take it tomorrow. I’ve never been held hostage. I have, however, been in a group text.
Live Life Laughing
Live Life Laughing
I can’t even begin to imagine the self-control it takes to work at a bubble-wrap factory. Imagine how much sound a centipede would make if they wore little, tiny flip-flops. If someone from Ziplock would contact just about anyone in the cereal business, it would be a match made in heaven. I was lonely until… Read More
Live Life Laughing
I have an inferiority complex, but it’s not a very good one. ~Steven Wright I just ordered a life alert bracelet so when I get a life, I’ll be notified immediately. Milk is the fastest liquid on earth.It’s pasteurized before you even see it. Surround yourselves with friends who pray for you behind your back.
Live Life Laughing
We had a contest at work for the best neckwear. It was a tie. Photo by Teddy Joseph: https://www.pexels.com/photo/man-wearing-black-suit-2955376/ I asked my dad why he decided to buy a boat. He said, “There was a sail.” Q: Where did Chewbacca learn his knowledge of The Force?A: From Wookieepedia.
Live Life Laughing
I bumped my head on a coffee maker. It left a brews. What party game do fish play at birthday parties?Salmon Says. What do get when you cross a dog with an antenna?A Golden Receiver. Every morning I tell the whole household that I’m going running.Then I don’t go.It’s a running joke. What is a… Read More
Live Life Laughing
How does Willie the Whale go overland from CA to FL?On whale-way tracks. Junior-high grandson: “Grandma, how do birds live without arms?”Me: “Hmm. Let me think. Is this a trick questions?”Smart Alec grandson: “They wing it.” What happened when sweet-looking Kendall secretly tied her classmates shoelaces together?They went on a class trip. It’s that time… Read More
Live Life Laughing
Q: How can you tell if a tree is a dogwood tree?A: By its bark. Grandpa went to the bank for a loan.The teller said, “I’m sorry, but the loan arranger isn’t in today.”“That’s all right,” Grandpa said. “I’ll just speak to Tonto.” It’s so depressing to work on a horse ranch.I’m surrounded by neigh-sayers.
