Sorry, not genetically predisposed to folding laundry. What do you call a deer who can write with both their left and right hooves?Bambidextrous. If I have to put my coffee down, the answer is “NO!”
Live Life Laughing
Live Life Laughing
What do you call a paper airplane that refuses to fly? Stationery. How many pieces of candy corn do you think you will eat before you ask youself: “I wonder what a candle would taste like?” Morning: Too tired to thinkNoon: Still thought impaired.Supper time: Leave something in the microwave til the end of the… Read More
Live Life Laughing
I never finish anything.I have a black belt in Partial Arts. An empty fortune cookie is rather unfortunate. I did a little mechanics work today—I’m so good at this.I put a rear end in a recliner.
Live Life Laughing
What do you call an attractive monster?Pretty scary. Bean bag chairs are Venus Flytraps for anyone over 40. The difference between me and Superman is this:He has super vision. I require supervision.
Live Life Laughing
I am working hard to be the kind of grandparent that my grandchildren can differentiate from a wolf wearing a nightgown and cap. It would be pretty weird if you went to a concert and they had a football game halfway through. Here’s a bright idea for you the next time you are having trouble… Read More
Live Life Laughing
The PAST TENSE of William Shakespeareis WOULDIWAS SHOOKSPEARED. Honey is the tastiest of all the insect vomits I have tasted so far. Tell me, what even is atheism?A non-prophet organization.
Live Life Laughing
My mind is exceptionally quiet today. I’m suspicious I’m up to something I don’t want me to know about. I’m starting a business to teach math to short people.It’s called, “Making the little things count.” I’m going to need some of you readers to start getting weirder.I can’t keep pulling all the weight like this.… Read More
