I’m reading a book about school truancy by Marcus Absent. Whoever snuck the “s” in fast food was quite clever. All of my bills say “outstanding.” I guess I’m doing a great job with them.
Live Life Laughing
Live Life Laughing
If a police officer pulls over a U-Haul, did she bust a move? Never make plans with croissants. They’re flaky. A mother’s love is unconditional. Her temper is another matter.
Live Life Laughing
I don’t rise and shine. I caffeinate and coordinate. This morning I woke up in a clown costume. I must have slept funny. Milk is the fastest liquid on earth. It’s pasteurize before you see it.
Dutch Blitz—A Vonderful Goot Game
Dutch Blitz is like Double Solitaire on speed dial. To win you have to be quick, see multiple numbers at a time, and hold them in your head. You also have to sort by color. And focus, block everything out but the numbers before you. I’m not quick. Numbers and I get along well, but… Read More
Live Life Laughing
I asked my friend when her birthday was.She said, “March 1st.”So I high-stepped around the room and asked again. The surgeon had to amputate a man’s toe, so he replaced it with a breath mint.He calls it his “tic-tac toe.” Client: I’m having trouble with my computer.Tech Guru: Have you tried disabling cookies?Client: Once, I… Read More
Live Life Laughing
To be frank, I’d have to change my name. My friend told me I had to stop acting like a flamingo. So I had to put my foot down. I’ve invented a machine that measures the effectiveness of dad jokes.A sighs-mograph.
Live Life Laughing
I just learned Einstein was a real person. I always thought he was just a theoretical physicist. I had a dream last night I was a muffler…woke up exhausted. Did you hear about the guy who stole cheese? He was up to no Gouda.
Kathleen S Evenhouse 