I asked my friend when her birthday was.She said, “March 1st.”So I high-stepped around the room and asked again. The surgeon had to amputate a man’s toe, so he replaced it with a breath mint.He calls it his “tic-tac toe.” Client: I’m having trouble with my computer.Tech Guru: Have you tried disabling cookies?Client: Once, I… Read More
Live Life Laughing
To be frank, I’d have to change my name. My friend told me I had to stop acting like a flamingo. So I had to put my foot down. I’ve invented a machine that measures the effectiveness of dad jokes.A sighs-mograph.
Live Life Laughing
I just learned Einstein was a real person. I always thought he was just a theoretical physicist. I had a dream last night I was a muffler…woke up exhausted. Did you hear about the guy who stole cheese? He was up to no Gouda.
Live Life Laughing
Wear short sleeves! Support the right to bare arms! Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine. Letting the cat out of the bag is a whole lot easier than putting it back in. Get ready for tomorrow morning. Go to the library today.
Live Life Laughing
I prefer living in the past. At least the cost of housing was much cheaper. There’s a new support group for compulsive talkers. It’s called On Anon. I’ve taken up a new sport. It’s called silent tennis.It’s just like regular tennis, but without the racket. Don’t be afraid to get your hands dirty.
Live Life Laughing
70% of the earth is water, and virtually none of it is carbonated.So, the earth is, in fact, flat. What is the difference between an actor and a burnt rodent?One is Chris Pratt, and the other is a Crisp Rat. I accidentally replace my halogen bulbs with hallucinogen bulbs.The circuit breakers are tripping and my… Read More
Live Life Laughing
I never realized how funny I was until I started talking to myself. I don’t get enough credit for all the things I managed to say. I had a donut today WITHOUT sprinkles, so if you see me looking skinny tomorrow, don’t be alarmed.
Kathleen S Evenhouse 