Kathleen S Evenhouse
Writing With Vision
Why did the deer get braces?Because he had buck teeth. What do you call an empty bottle of Cheese Whiz?Cheese Was Did you know that you can use disposable masks to brew espresso?That’s because they are coughy filters. You know what every woman’s dream is?A man who will take her in his arms, throw her… Read More
“My credit card was denied at the sweater store.”“What did they do?”“They asked me for my cardigan.” Why did the chicken go to the gym?To work on his pecks. Dear life, When I said “can my day get any worse,” it was a rhetorical question, not a challenge. FUN FACT:Koi fish always travel in groups… Read More
“My teeth are turning yellow.”“Do you smoke or drink coffee?”“I drink it.” I decided to try magnetic eyelashes.Now my eyelid is stuck to the fridge. Send help. I’ve been watching my weight.It’s still there. Roses are red.Tacos are delicious.I use paper platesbecause I hate doing dishes.
I hate when my GPS tells me to head northwest when leaving the parking lot.Yo, British girl, do I need to turn left or right? Love is in the air, but so is the flu.Wash your hands. Cat puns freak meowt,Seriously, I’m not kitten. What is the most terrifying word in nuclear physics? “Oops!”
Why don’t you see many turtles wearing scarves?Because they have turtlenecks. Where does the general keep his armies?In his sleevies. When you look really closely …… all mirrors look like eyeballs. Cinderella is proof that a new pair of shoes can change your life.
Did you ever notice that when you lose the remote, you don’t trust anyone.“Are you sitting on the remote.”“Nope.”“Get up!” I’m writing a book about making things louder.I’m on the first volume now. Recently we joined an archaeological party where they were looking for something very specific: The remains of a lower leg.It was quite… Read More
I am not a 10. I am more like two 5s held together by mashed potatoes. You remind be of chapstick,‘cuz you da balm. I’m addicted to seaweed,but I’m seeking kelp.
Kathleen S Evenhouse 