The bartender says “we don’t serve time travelers in here.” A time traveler walks into a bar. I WRITE ALL MY JOKES IN CAPITALS. THIS ONE WAS WRITTEN IN PARIS. Q: Why is Peter Pan always flying? A: He neverlands. Q: Why don’t cows have any money? A: Because farmers milk them dry. Q: What do… Read More
Q: If lightning strikes an orchestra, who is the most likely to get killed? A: The conductor Q: What did the fisherman say to the musician? A: Pick a cod, any cod. Whoever invented knock knock jokes should get a Nobel prize. Winter Quotes “If we had no winter, the spring would not be so… Read More
Q: What do space cows say? A: Mooooooon Q: What do teeth and trees have in common? A. They both have roots? Q: What do you call a country, when all the the cars in it are pink? A: A pink carnation Winter Quotes “What good is the warmth of summer, without the cold of… Read More
Q: Want to know what makes me smile? A: Face Muscles Q: Why can’t the T Rex clap his hands. A. He’s dead. Q: Why are elephants so wrinkled? A: Because they are so hard to iron. Winter Quotes “Winter is the time for comfort, for good food and warmth, for the touch of a… Read More
Q: How did the farmer find his wife? A: He tractor. Q: What do you call a cow spying on another cow? A: A steak out. Q: What do you call a cow that doesn’t give milk? A: A milk dud. Give Thanks We must learn to appreciate life. Someone is sitting in the shade… Read More
Q: What does a farmer talk about while he’s milking the cows? A: Udder Nonsense. Q: What goes “ooooo, oooo, oooo”? A: A cow with no lips. I come from a town where a traffic jam is five cars behind a tractor. Give Thanks When you rise in the morning, give thanks for the light,… Read More
What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question? A farmer in the field with his cows counted 196 of them, but when he rounded them up he had 200. The dyslexic devil worshiper sold his soul to Santa.