Kathleen S Evenhouse
Writing With Vision
To all my northern friends, Your weather is in my yard. I’m going to need you to come get it, please. Eyelashes are supposed to prevent things from getting into your eyes, but when I do have something in my eye, it’s always an eyelash.Eyronic. I asked my friend to spell wonton backwards.He said, “Not… Read More
You know you’ve done it! We’ve all played countertop Jenga. Q: How do you frighten the new generation?A: Put them in a room with a rotary phone, an analog watch, and a television with no remote. Then leave all the how-to-use directions in cursive. Q: What did the janitor say when he jumped out of… Read More
Q: What kind of books do cows read? A: Cattlelogs I have this great idea for a new chain of steak houses for people who love Elvis.The demographic is people who “love meat tender.” Q: What do you call two ducks and a cow?A: Quackers and milk. Q: Why does a milking stool have only… Read More
Good idea for you pesterers: When a someone asks you, “Could you be more annoying?” Just smile, and wear tap shoes tomorrow. If James Bond is the most famous spy in the world, doesn’t that make him the worst spy? If you get lost in the woods, find a possum and follow it. You’ll be… Read More
My superhero name would be TYPO-WOMAN, writer of wrongs. I will always be disappointed that a group of squids is not called a squad. Help your friend on a diet by replacing the interior light with an air horn.
All my passwords are protected by amnesia. What do you call a woman standing in the middle of tennis court?Annette. Me: “It doesn’t have a tail so I’m pretty sure it’s a hamster.Tech Support: “Okay fine. Right-click the hamster.
It’s true. I have a memory like an Etch-A-Sketch.I shake my head and forget everything. If really beautiful people are called “eye candy,”I would guess I am somewhere in the “eye broccoli” category. I was sitting drinking coffee in my slipper this morning, when it dawned on me…I really need to wash some cups. I… Read More
