Kathleen S Evenhouse
Writing With Vision
She believed she could, but it was 91 degrees outside with Iowa corn field humidity, so she didn’t. Why do fireflies’ butts glow?Because the other end would make them light-headed. Gravity is one of the most fundamental forces in the universe,but if you remove it, you get: gravy. The guy next door just bought 6… Read More
I’m not a hoarder, I’m a this-might-be-useful-some-day specialist. My ancestors navigated the ocean using the moon and stars.I’m over here miss exits with a GPS. Some days, life isn’t so much “EASY PEASY, LEMON SQUEEZY.”Today is more like “STRESSY MESSY, LEMON ZESTY.” Cookies have very few vitamins. That’s why you have to eat so many… Read More
How is coffee like a light switch. First cup flips the switch to on. This is the look you get before glasses and my first cup of coffee. Don’t ever let anyone tell you that fairy tales aren’t real. This morning I drank a potion made from adding hot water to magic beans, and it… Read More
If you see me drinking coffee and talking to myself, DO NOT DISTURB.I’m having a staff meeting, and I’m in charge. So, you’re telling me that people in math problems can have 75 bananas and 25 watermelons, but when I have 5 cups of coffee, I’m the one with the problem? Coffee: a magical substance… Read More
I am almost a millionaire.I have all the zeros. Now, all I need is a one. The art book I just bought does not have a final chapter.You have to draw your own conclusion. Them: “You need to listen to your body more.”Me: “it is says, ‘You are old and you want pizza.’” What are… Read More
My husband asked if he had any annoying habits.Then he got all offended during the PowerPoint presentation. To me, essential oils are what drips out of tacos. Judging by the looks of my hair this morning, I may be a muppet.
That moment when you realize that your children have your twisted sense of humor, and you don’t know whether to be PROUD or SCARED. I’ve got an idea! Let’s join the cicadas this summer and just scream for six weeks straight. You can say, “Have a nice day” and people smile and say thanks.But just… Read More
Kathleen S Evenhouse 