What do you call two guys hanging around a window?Kurt and Rod I scraped my elbow digging for gold.Never mind, it’s just a miner injury. Bro, can you pass me that leaflet?Brochure

Everyone told Sam not to sing,but Samsung anyway. How do Viking ships signal each other?The use Norse code. Photo by Tucker Monticelli on Unsplash My pet pig lost his voice; he was very disgruntled.

Q: Where do you take someone who has been injured in a peek-a-boo accident? A: To the I.C.U. Photo by Kindel Media from Pexels Q: What does a house wear?A: address Q: On which side does the chicken have the most feathers?A: the outside

I just burned 2000 calories.That’s the last time I leave brownies in the oven while I take a nap. To be frank, I’d have to change my name. What do you call a corncob with only one kernel?A unicorn. Plants use photosynthesis when they want a light snack.

I just asked my husband if he remembers what today is. Scaring men is easy. I told my carpenter I didn’t want carpeted steps. He gave me a blank stair. I changed all my passwords to Kenny; now all I have is Kenny Loggins. I tried to sneak into a Star Trek convention as a… Read More

I accidentally rubbed ketchup in my eyes. Now I have Heinz sight. My wife asked me if I could clear the table.I had to take a running start, but I made it. Just had a police officer come to my door saying he was looking for a man with one eye.I told him if he… Read More

I didn’t mean to gain weight. It happened by snaccident. When my phone battery died, I was angry and needed to find an outlet. I have a fear of speed bumps, but I’m slowly getting over it. I had a dream about mufflers. I woke up exhausted. Bacon is 68% fat and very salty. Me,… Read More