Kathleen S Evenhouse
Writing With Vision
To all my northern friends, Your weather is in my yard. I’m going to need you to come get it, please. Eyelashes are supposed to prevent things from getting into your eyes, but when I do have something in my eye, it’s always an eyelash.Eyronic. I asked my friend to spell wonton backwards.He said, “Not… Read More
Good idea for you pesterers: When a someone asks you, “Could you be more annoying?” Just smile, and wear tap shoes tomorrow. If James Bond is the most famous spy in the world, doesn’t that make him the worst spy? If you get lost in the woods, find a possum and follow it. You’ll be… Read More
All my passwords are protected by amnesia. What do you call a woman standing in the middle of tennis court?Annette. Me: “It doesn’t have a tail so I’m pretty sure it’s a hamster.Tech Support: “Okay fine. Right-click the hamster.
It’s true. I have a memory like an Etch-A-Sketch.I shake my head and forget everything. If really beautiful people are called “eye candy,”I would guess I am somewhere in the “eye broccoli” category. I was sitting drinking coffee in my slipper this morning, when it dawned on me…I really need to wash some cups. I… Read More
What did the icy road say to the car? “Want to go for a spin?” What do you call a slow skier? A slopepoke! Why do arctic seals and penguins not get along? They are polar opposites! How does a group of penguins make a decision? They flipper coin!
When a vegetarian is really made at another vegetarian, is it still called a beef?Just wondering. The last part of your body to die when you pass away are your pupils.They dilate. Is your stomach flat?Yeah, but the “L” is silent. You know what’s even worse? When the author is still writing the second one.
I’ll stop at nothing to avoid using negative numbers.Don’t get it? Ask your fourth grader. What is faster, hot or cold?Hot, because you can catch a cold. Orion’s belt is a big waist of stars.Bad joke. Only 3 stars. Sometimes you can really identify with a character in the book. Is it because you have… Read More
