When I walked by the refrigerator, I thought I heard two onions singing a BeeGees song.When I opened the door, I found out it was just the chives singing. What do bovines like to read? Cattle-logs. Yesterday I dropped my Scrabble game, and the tiles fell all over the road. My brother just laughed and… Read More
Q: What is the difference between Iron Man and Aluminum Man?A: Iron Man stops the bad guy; Aluminum Man foils their plans. A lot of people don’t realize that they actor who played Wilson in Castaway is the actor from the volleyball scene in Top Gun. Q: Why does Sherlock Holmes love Mexican restaurants?A: Because… Read More
Q: What did the retired pirate say on his 80th birthday?A. “Aye matey!” Q: What does Charles Dickens keep in his spice rack?A. The best of thymes, the worst of thymes. Q. Why did it get so hot in the basketball arena after the fame?A. All the fans left. Two silk worms were in a… Read More
I keep telling my friend it’s wrong to shoplift, but he just doesn’t buy it. Teacher: This student didn’t wear her belt to school again.Principal: What do you want me to do? Suspender? I went to the grocery store to buy 6 cans of Sprite, but when I got home I realized I’d picked 7up.… Read More
Q. Why does a moon-rock taste better than an earth-rock?A. Because it’s a little meteor. Q. What kind of a car does a sheep drive?A. A lamborghini. Q. Who is the penquin’s favorite relative?A. Aunt Arctica Q. Why can’t you tease egg whites?A. They can’t take a yolk.
Here’s a few of my favorite Muppet characters. I was at the bank the other day, and I saw a man really concentrating to stand on just one leg. Confused, I asked him what he was doing…“Just checking my balance,” he said. Water is heavier than butane because butane is a lighter fluid.
For those of you who don’t have the privilege of living in a rural area, I’d like to introduce you to the Peterson Brothers who farm in Kansas. Hope you can enjoy life as much as they do.