Kathleen S Evenhouse
Writing With Vision
I just asked my husband if he remembers what today is. Scaring men is easy. I told my carpenter I didn’t want carpeted steps. He gave me a blank stair. I changed all my passwords to Kenny; now all I have is Kenny Loggins. I tried to sneak into a Star Trek convention as a… Read More
What kind of milk comes from a forgetful cow?Milk of Amnesia Did you hear the song about the tortilla?Actually, it was more of a rap. Dartboards on the ceiling are disgusting.They make me throw up.
I accidentally rubbed ketchup in my eyes. Now I have Heinz sight. My wife asked me if I could clear the table.I had to take a running start, but I made it. Just had a police officer come to my door saying he was looking for a man with one eye.I told him if he… Read More
I didn’t mean to gain weight. It happened by snaccident. When my phone battery died, I was angry and needed to find an outlet. I have a fear of speed bumps, but I’m slowly getting over it. I had a dream about mufflers. I woke up exhausted. Bacon is 68% fat and very salty. Me,… Read More
Q: What kind of a doctor is Dr. Pepper?A: A Fizz-ision Q: Why is it hard to have a conversation with a goat?A: Because they’re always butting in. Q: Why did the clock get kicked out of the library?A: It tocked too much. I’d like to end with chimney jokes–I’ve got a stack of ’em.The… Read More
Q: What do you call 12 examples of that which has mass and occupies space?A: Dozen Matter. Plants use photosynthesis when they want a light snack. Q: What did one tectonic plate say when he bumped into the other?A: Sorry. My fault. Q: What did the biologist wear to impress his date?A: Designer genes.
I can cut a tree down just by looking at it.It’s true. I saw it with my own eyes. I sympathize with batteries. I’m never included in anything either. Here’s a joke for all of you mind-readers.I know, right? What is an astronaut’s favorite part of a computer?The space bar.
Kathleen S Evenhouse 