Q: Where do you take someone who has been injured in a peek-a-boo accident? A: To the I.C.U. Photo by Kindel Media from Pexels Q: What does a house wear?A: address Q: On which side does the chicken have the most feathers?A: the outside

I just burned 2000 calories.That’s the last time I leave brownies in the oven while I take a nap. To be frank, I’d have to change my name. What do you call a corncob with only one kernel?A unicorn. Plants use photosynthesis when they want a light snack.

I just asked my husband if he remembers what today is. Scaring men is easy. I told my carpenter I didn’t want carpeted steps. He gave me a blank stair. I changed all my passwords to Kenny; now all I have is Kenny Loggins. I tried to sneak into a Star Trek convention as a… Read More

I accidentally rubbed ketchup in my eyes. Now I have Heinz sight. My wife asked me if I could clear the table.I had to take a running start, but I made it. Just had a police officer come to my door saying he was looking for a man with one eye.I told him if he… Read More

I didn’t mean to gain weight. It happened by snaccident. When my phone battery died, I was angry and needed to find an outlet. I have a fear of speed bumps, but I’m slowly getting over it. I had a dream about mufflers. I woke up exhausted. Bacon is 68% fat and very salty. Me,… Read More

Q: What kind of a doctor is Dr. Pepper?A: A Fizz-ision Q: Why is it hard to have a conversation with a goat?A: Because they’re always butting in. Q: Why did the clock get kicked out of the library?A: It tocked too much. I’d like to end with chimney jokes–I’ve got a stack of ’em.The… Read More