Kathleen S Evenhouse
Writing With Vision
FARM JOKES What advice does a farmer follow when choosing a tractor? “If it fields good, do it.” When Beethoven lived on a farm, he wrote Oat to Joy. The criminal threatened to strike right at harvest time. The farmer said to him, “You better leave, before I cull the crops!”
FARM JOKES As a farmer, I hear lots of jokes about sheep. I’d tell them to my dog but he’d herd them all. What did the neurotic pig say to the farmer? You take me for grunted. What do you call the best butter on the farm? A goat. What do farmers use to make crop circles? A pro-tractor.… Read More
Some people just have a way with words, and other people … oh … not have way. ~Steve Martin I don’t want to brag, but I do speak pig Latin; I mean, I’m not fluent, but I’m sure if I ever went there, I could get by. ~Bonnie MacFarland My teammate and I often laugh about… Read More
ONE-LINERS from Reddit I was at an ATM and this old lady asked me to help check her balance, so I pushed her over. Water, that’s what floats my boat! I had a hand in the invention of gloves. Elevator jokes work on so many levels. Will glass coffins be a success? Remains to be… Read More
If you’re ever attacked by a group of clowns, go for the juggler. Sometimes I tuck my knees into my chest and lean forward. That’s just how I roll. The word “phonetically” doesn’t even start with an “f.” It’s inconsistencies like this that make aliens fly right past our planet. Today’s Quote: “For God is… Read More
I have the heart of a lion and a lifetime ban from the San Diego Zoo. You heard the rumor going around about butter? Never mind. I shouldn’t spread it. Q: Why did Star Wars episodes 4, 5, and 6 come before episodes 1, 2 and 3? A: Because in charge of scheduling, Yoda was.… Read More
My wrinkles are all from laughter except for those between my eyebrows. They’re my “You’ve got to be kidding!” lines, and those things are deep. My brain says “crunches,” but my stomach auto-corrects to “cupcakes.” Cupcakes are muffins that believed in miracles. Today’s Quote: “I am leaving you with a gift—peace of mind and heart.… Read More
Kathleen S Evenhouse 