Kathleen S Evenhouse
Writing With Vision
My last apartment only had four-foot high ceilings.I couldn’t stand living there. You must drop out to graduate from skydiving school. Why is Peter Pan always flying?Because he never lands. I’ve been trying to tell jokes about unemployed people, but they never work.
Did you ever notice that when you lose the remote, you don’t trust anyone.“Are you sitting on the remote.”“Nope.”“Get up!” I’m writing a book about making things louder.I’m on the first volume now. Recently we joined an archaeological party where they were looking for something very specific: The remains of a lower leg.It was quite… Read More
Sheet Music is basically a “sound recipe.” I get so sick of people thinking they can just waltz into my room, when I am obviously listening to music in 4/4. Are you a fermata?Because I’d hold you. My mate told me he failed his exam in Aboriginal Music.I said, “Didja redo it?”
Read for some musical puns? Please groan in harmony. Soprano: “Hey, you want to hear a joke?”Alto: “Sure.”Soprano: “Melody.”Alto: “I don’t get it.”Soprano: “No, you don’t.” Beethoven: “Are you ready to hear some symphonies?”Audience: (Cheers, whistles, applause)Beethoven: “I can’t hear you!!” What if telling people to be quiet, we just yelled, “Decrescendo!” I hate the… Read More
Dear Life, when I said “could my life get any worse,” it was a rhetorical question, not a challenge. Q: What do you call a bee hive without an exit?A: Unbelievable. Do you use your right or left hand to stir your coffee?I use a spoon.
I’m reading a book about school truancy by Marcus Absent. Whoever snuck the “s” in fast food was quite clever. All of my bills say “outstanding.” I guess I’m doing a great job with them.
I’ve heard this line from medical profession far too often in my life. So, my reaction this last time was, “Of course, you did.” Then, after hearing the options: waiting, see what happens, let it grow for a while, etc, my modus operandi is, “Take it out.” Today, thinking about “take it out,” I wish… Read More
Kathleen S Evenhouse 